To share or not to share?

 

Most of us have this conflict in our heads, agree or not? Well, I am not talking about ‘materialistic’ stuff here. That is a completely personal choice. But, is it important to share our minds with people?

Let us assume a hypothetical situation, you have won a race or a competition per se. The next thing we would ‘normally’ do is to share the news with our dear and near. But, taking another hypothetical situation, you failed in an exam which you had all hopes of scoring better, will you do the same? Both the situations are subjective from one person to the other but how does ‘talking’ be of any help here?

So, I have always had trust issues, which means I don’t trust easily. This also translates that, once trusted, it is forever. Let this be in the backend.

Once I decided to quit my job, there was no turning back. I stuck up to the decision. There were multiple opinions from all sides but the decision was already made and was in papers too. However, my mind hadn’t adapted to the decision yet. One night, my anxiety, which often ghosted me, decided to stay. Out of the blue, I texted a person whom I had recently met. This person is a good friend of mine but we weren’t in the tagline of the so-called ‘besties’. I started blabbering and I had no clue of what I was talking about. He waited and instead he told me to talk to his friend and said that she was also in a similar boat as I was. This was a spark. I texted her the next day. She asked me if I was comfortable talking over the phone but I denied it and preferred to text. She asked me if something was bothering me and I started writing a story. After an hour, she shared a questionnaire. That’s when I realized that I was attending a counseling session. After six hours of interaction, she affirmed to me that the decision I had chosen at that point was right. And of course, it did work!

The point is, we might have second thoughts about our decisions. At that point, just an affirmation from a stranger can do the trick. It need not be a stranger, it can be a friend, a classmate, or anyone whom you actually trust. I wouldn’t prefer talking out to my family because they are emotionally attached to me and it may backfire by hurting them as well. The person on the other end might have an analytical view of the problem which helps you to think without haste.

That being said, what is the position of the listener? The first thing is to ‘not’ listen when you are undergoing any issues for yourself. We tend to accumulate the other person’s issue as well and both of us won’t feel good with the conversation. Also, I have seen some people who keep reminding about the issue we had shared earlier. It is the story of the past, respect it. Don’t remind the person about the same thing. Questioning them again about the same might affect their trust in you.

Last but not the least, don’t talk about it to people. The person trusted you with a strong belief in confidentiality. So try to maintain the same, strictly.

At times, we might not get the right person to talk to, might be the person you trust is busy or so on. What next? Sharing the things which I did when my head lost all its control.

1.    I tend to sleep

It has always given me that peace and when I wake up I tend to forget the issue or the grave situation had settled a bit

2.    Meditate

I am not a pro at this, nor do I practice it without guidance. I have a few guided meditation playlists in my phone and I follow the same.

3.    Bath

This may sound silly but it actually helps

 

4.    Stay quiet

Now all these require a place in specific and if things go out of control when I am outside, I tend to stay quiet. I keep thinking about alternate ideas of the issues. Maybe recollecting the lyrics of a song I love. This distracts my mind for a while and later I shifted to finding a solution for the situation I am in.

 

 

It’s not about talking, it is about being heard! If you are heard by yourself in the first place, the battle is half done.