Knowing my friend, better!

 

It has been over eight months since I met Vimal. He wasn’t an extra-ordinary sub-ordinate, but, being his team-lead for almost two years, I felt comfortable working with him than with anyone else. I have no clue about his whereabouts, but I recollect that he wasn’t okay during his last few days with the firm. This was quite evident with his working pattern and delayed deadlines which obviously pissed me off.

I did notice his change, but I didn’t want to fiddle with his personal life, until things messed up, officially! We had a meeting. Our product was based on promoting Artificial Intelligence. He was responsible for the presentation that day. I had advised him to show me the presentation in advance but he said he completed it late and assured me that things were perfect. Trusting him, we proceeded with the meeting. And he screwed it up! His presentation was talking majorly about Data Analytics! To our luck it was just a team meeting, however, a mistake cannot be justified that way. I had to blast at him for this.

I felt sorry for doing that. However, I had no option then. Imagine if he had done this during some serious presentation. It would have cost the entire team’s job. To chill him out later, I stuck a sticky-note on his notice board, requesting him to meet me that evening. I was sure he would be upset and hence I observed him when he went to his desk. He looked dull and I noticed him crush the sticky note.

Okay, so I chose to take him out for coffee and he couldn’t refuse.

After a sip, I said, “I am sorry for what happened today. But don’t you think that you were wrong?”

“Aaaa! Chill! That was my mistake. I should have considered showing the slides at least a moment before the meeting.”

“Mmmm. It’s okay. Then what is bothering you? If I may ask.”

After a brief moment of silence.

“I broke up with Sarah.”

“Ooo. I’m sorry. But how?”

“Forget it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Alright. Things will be fine soon. Don’t worry. But I don’t want these issues to mess up with our official business. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah. I will try my best.”

“Great! So let’s leave.”

That was our last meeting. From then, he had been absconding. I messaged him, I wrote long emails, but I never received a response. Since he wasn’t reaching out to the company in any means for more than two months and with the recession wave hitting us hard, I had to proceed with his termination. As he was hired based on contract, I chose not to renew it. However, before taking this decision, I wrote a message to him on WhatsApp.

‘Vimal. Do you pay any heed to my words? I had warned you not to mess up personal life with professional life, didn’t I? And what are you up to? You know you have education loans to repay, and you have been staying away for months with no updates or calls. What the hell is happening with you? Chuck it! I don’t want to brood on this anymore. I will give you 24 hours. If I don’t receive any response from your side (I don’t care even if you don’t see this message), I will proceed with the cancellation of your contract! Mind you, I have all reasons to terminate you! But I am not doing it because I care for you and your future. That doesn’t mean that I will let you misuse the freedom granted’

-Regards,

Laya

In a few minutes, I noticed him typing a reply. I waited, anxiously. After 15 minutes, his reply popped in and it read, “Thank you. I was wondering how to approach you on this. You can proceed with the cancellation.”

 This frustrated me. I chose not to reply as that would end up in a bitter argument. I proceeded with the cancellation of his contract instead. Still, I had sort out the things with him the day we met? Then why is he doing this? Also, this was not the first time. I have been scolding him for ages! Aaaa! I don’t care anymore. He did make a mistake, I shouted at him and I later tried to sort the issue as well. A senior scolding a junior isn’t wrong by any sense. Also, I didn’t scold him out of the blue. He deserved it then. I should stop bothering this and proceed with my work soon, I thought.

Days, weeks and months passed. I don’t miss Vimal, but I do wish to see him. I often thought about him. Where would he be? Does he have a job now? Is he suffering to make ends meet? These were my unsolved questions.

As I was sitting at the office, I received a call from an unknown number. I picked it up and it was a voice much familiar to me. Yes! It was Vimal!

“Vimal?” I asked.

“Yes, Laya. How have you been?”

“Doing good. How about you? And where are you?”

“I am good too. And I wasn’t in town for a few days. Just returned. So I thought of catching up with you.”

“Glad to know. Where do you work now? And why did you disappear? You know I was helpless and was quite upset that you didn’t consider your work seriously.”

“I know, Laya. I have a lot to talk. Can we meet in person?”

“Sure. Why don’t you come here?”

“No Laya. I don’t want to. I will send you an address. Please come over. I would be glad to have you there?”

“What is it about?”

“Surprise! Come!”

As he cut the call, he shared a location on WhatsApp. There was an RSVP pass with it. It was a fashion show titled ‘RAINBOW’

 But what does a fashion show do with an engineer, I wondered. Maybe some robotics themes or so, to attract people.

I reached the venue on time the next day. VIBGYOR balloons decorated the entrance. There were flags, banners and other souvenirs on the hallway. I realised that I was attending a Pride event. I couldn’t find Vimal anywhere around. As I continued my steps forward, I noticed a small commotion near the stage. I moved forward. Dressed in varied colours, I saw people from the queer community walk elegantly with pride on stage. They were equally cheered by their friends from below the stage. Their smiles were genuine, they hid the pain, they embraced their courage. First and foremost, they received acceptance and I was proud and happy to have witnessed this until I saw a familiar face!

Draping a red saree, with an off-shoulder blouse, I noticed that Vimal was the show stopper for the day. My heart stopped beating. I hadn’t expected this in my weirdest dreams. I felt broken. I didn’t know how to react. He was smiling and he did see me, but my smile had vanished by then. I moved away from the crowd and sat on one of the chairs placed near the buffet. After a few minutes, Vimal came towards me.

“Hey Laya. Thanks for coming. You were the only guest from my side.”

“I don’t understand. What’s all this?”

“What?”

“You seriously didn’t get my question?”

“I did. But, this is what I am.”

“I don’t get you.”

“Let me explain. Don’t you remember the day we met over coffee for the last time?”

“I do. You told me about your breakup.”

“Exactly. We had a strong chemistry. We loved each other, but I often felt that my love was brotherly rather than being a partner.”

“As in?”

“I didn’t feel drawn towards her. Instead, I felt my adrenaline rush when her male friends were around for house parties.”

“Oh! So did you talk about it to her?”

“No. She couldn’t have accepted it. But I started feeling suffocated when she was around. A strange communication gap came in and finally, we were two ways apart.”

“Hmmm. So what made you quit your job. With your words, I presume that you wanted her out of your life as you both weren’t happy with the relationship.”

“Maybe. I was happy initially. I could be myself. Though I got freedom from my relationship, I was still part of a society which found it hard to accept. Overthinking this suffocated me, yet again.”

“And leaving the job was your one-time solution?”

“Maybe yes!”

“But…….how could…. How could you even think that way?”

“Ok. So let us put this way round. When you saw me on stage in this new attire of mine, were you happy? I noticed your smile fade, am I right?”

“Yeah, but yeah, I wasn’t expecting this at this point in time. Hence I didn’t know how to react.”

“Hmm, I understand. So imagine the same situation from the office. If I had walked into the office as a female one fine day, how would you react?”

I couldn't utter a word. I was speechless and he continued.

“I was helpless Laya. I couldn’t talk to anyone about this. I felt forlorn. I was depressed, You did notice that I appreciate, but if I had told you the truth by then, you wouldn’t have agreed to my decision. Will you?”

Again, I was speechless.

“I didn’t want to become an engineer in the first place.  I did it for my parents. I always wanted to become a model, but my loans and debts forced me to take up a job which I was disinterested in. I did fulfil society’s needs. But if I had not recognised my sexual orientation even now, isn’t it like betraying myself? Why should I even live in a body which is a stranger to me?”

“I completely understand. I am sorry for being judgemental. Still, have you settled your debts if any?”

“Happy that you have understood me. Yeah! Before moving abroad for the sexual reassignment surgery, I had settled all my debts and also transferred a good amount of money to my parents' account. Because, when their son returns back home clad on a saree, they would never be able to accept it. So I was prepared to lose people.”

“Hmm. Don’t you think this should change? All that matters is your happiness.”

“Yes, But I don’t think they will be able to do that.”

“Should I try it?”

“Will you?”

“Of course I will.”

And he hugged me tight. I caressed his head before he left hold of me and I said, “But I have a condition?”

“And what’s that?”

“Before I speak for you…..What’s your new name pretty lady?”

He laughed and said, “Amulya.”

“You’re definitely precious.” And holding each other’s hands we departed from the venue.

 

 

 

Note: The characters and events mentioned in the above story are truly fictional. Any resemblance with the names or events is purely coincidental.